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Weirdest online dating stories

40 Weird Date Stories That Will Make You Feel Better About Your Own Love Life,Pop Culture

10 Of The Creepiest Stories About Online Dating. Shawn Binder. May 19, Share Tweet Flip. 0. Shares. 1; 2; Page 1 of 2. But, just how creepy and weird can online dating get? I  · The guy who *really* likes spreadsheets. "I went on a four-hour (FOUR-HOUR) Tinder date with a match who proceeded to walk me through the intricacies of Excel. Every Best worst dating story. sedore Props to this guy’s creativity! _kategroh Hilarious dating revelations revealed. This guy deserves a hug. T_LetWIN. Must have been one hell of a crazy  · 4. 24 Struggles Of Online Dating That Are All Too Real. This post lists 24 online dating struggles that are all too real. "Anyone can take one great profile picture — especially if ... read more

Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction.

Photo editor at Bored Panda. Mindaugas has worked as a freelance photographer mainly doing events, product photography and has a recurring passion for macro photography. My second best story is this one: I was set up with a guy and we met a local restaurant for dinner. When I pulled up, he looked over my car and asked me how much I paid for it. I told him that I got a good deal and laughed. He WOULD NOT DROP IT. Over appetizers, he DEMANDED to know how much I paid for the car.

So I gave him an "about this much" answer. And he told me that one of the first things I was going to do was return the car because I had no business driving a car that nice or that expensive unless I was a whore that wanted to attract to attention keep in mind, I drive a grey Chevy. Not flashy, not extravagant. Then he told me all of the other ways that I would be submitting to him including calling in sick from my job when he needed me with him.

He followed me outside, red-faced and screaming at me to get back in there. I got in my fancy car and drove off. So I have this date with a hot girl I met and I say I´ll pick her up at six. She dolled heself up to the n-th degree, makeup, smokey eyes, lipstick, the works and I turn up on my motorbike. Half an hour later she takes of the helmet and looks like that scene in Conan where they have the face paint on. I also accidently forgot my wallet and she had to pay for the fuel.

We got married a year later. This happened many years ago. Knew a guy in school, he called me up and asked if I wanted to go to a party. He picked me up and as we walked in his back door, he tried to usher me into his bedroom for the "party". I made a beeline into the living room and saw one person there. His roommate was sitting on the couch in a beat up poncho, drinking coffee.

I sat and talked to him for 6 hrs. at one point he said to me " I could marry you. The coffee drinking roommate and I have been married for almost 40 years now. So good things are possible. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Please enter email address We will not spam you.

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I went into the bathroom, called my roommate, and had her come get me. Haven't online-dated since. Before telling me—during sex—that he had a girlfriend. And then when I kicked him out, he asked me for my Wi-Fi password so he could get an Uber.

I see him waiting outside and attempt to quicken my pace no one wants to awkwardly make eye contact for an entire block —all the while trying to strut my stuff, of course. About halfway to him, I just Broken shoe and everything. What a time to be alive. This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from. SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.

Video Spring Challenge Workouts Columnists Newsletter Signup. Twitter content This content can also be viewed on the site it originates from. At SELF, Lindsey has specialized in culture, love, and sex, but also written about health, food, fitness, and beauty. Prior to SELF, Lindsey wrote about fashion and entertainment for NYLON and Mashable.

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The first thing he did was give me drugstore perfume, a shirt with a picture of his band on it, and some business cards, 'in case my friends want his band to play. No second date. We ate and went to my house, and he turned on my PS4 to play God of War by himself, demanding I rub his back while he played.

Then he went to my bathroom and after 15 minutes, I heard loud-ass poop sounds. This continued for 45 minutes until finally he came out like nothing happened. I said I was getting tired, hoping he'd leave, but he suggested we take a nap. I just lay there while he fell dead asleep. He told me 15 minutes in that he'd broken up with his ex because she asked to sleep without his cats in bed.

He said, 'I told her the cats were there first, so she should go. I had my sister text me that she needed me for something ASAP. We stopped to admire the scenery, and out of nowhere he started LICKING MY FACE. I just froze. We continued walking — why didn't I run away, you ask? I was young and stupid — and it happened again! We finally came to a bench and I sat on the opposite side in fear that I was going to be licked again.

As I thought of an escape plan, I heard a strange noise. He was full-on masturbating. In a public park. I don't think I've ever run as fast as I did that day. I'm not a religious person, but he guaranteed that we'd get food after.

I'd done the church-after-a-sleepover as a kid, so I thought, hey, no big deal. Well at church he introduced me to his whole family as his girlfriend — I mean parents, cousins, even grandparents. He kept asking if I wanted to make out throughout the service. Finally, when it was over, he took me to 'brunch': stale doughnuts served for the youth group. The whole night was awful, but I eventually gave up after he said, 'You ever hang out in hospitals?

I like to. Maybe just because I'm turned on by blood. He proceeded to get high and then streaked around his backyard. I went home and never spoke to him again. He originally said he worked on Wall Street, but was actually a 'work-from-home consultant,' which I learned meant he was unemployed. Then he went on about how he was addicted to artificial sweeteners and ordered them online all the time.

He also said he likes to cook, so I asked him what he makes and he said, 'Anything I can use sweeteners in, like fruit soup. The guy sitting next to us was laughing so hard his back was shaking. While we perused the menu at an Indian restaurant, some winged beast flew overhead and took the most massive dump on me. There was bird poo in my hair, all over my face, and down the front of my body.

As I stood there, shocked and embarrassed, I turned to see my date nearly having a stroke to hold his laughter in. Things didn't work out. He and I have always gotten along and he seemed cool, so I figured, why not? We met up at a nice restaurant and the evening was going so well when he told me that he'd bought us tickets to see a movie — 50 Shades of Grey. I don't think it would have been THAT awkward if it weren't for his intense hand-squeezing during the sex scenes of the film.

When I arrived, he asked for a ride to Ikea because he'd just sold his dining room table on Craigslist and needed another.

I found out then that he didn't have a car. So I drove him, and when we got back to his place, I watched TV with his roommate's girlfriend while he made dinner. Afterward, he asked if I wanted to stay the night because he had a job interview in the morning that he needed a ride to.

I hightailed it out of there. I have no idea why I stayed as long as I did. He picked me up and took me to the house he was renting with some other guys, and we went directly to his room where he had a card table set up in front of his TV. He turned on South Park and brought in burnt, flaky grilled cheese sandwiches and a bag of tortilla chips, and we had the worst conversation. Then we sat on his bed and he repeatedly kept trying to touch my butt. I only lasted two episodes before I told him to take me home.

During my turn I heard him snickering behind me, saying, 'I'm definitely an ass man. Then we sat down to watch a movie and he leaned in close, saying, 'hold me,' in a baby voice. I shot up off the couch and said I needed to go and he had to drive me home. I flew out of the apartment, forgetting that there were stairs.

I fell hard, twisted my ankle, and landed on my pager this was a loooong time ago. Then I had to walk to his car acting like I wasn't hurt so he'd keep his hands off me. Finally, I faked throwing up in the bathroom. He tried to get me to come to the hotel he was staying at anyway, but I was insistent about leaving. We were supposed to hang out the next day, and I couldn't.

It was too much. He then sent me a bill for his gas, hotel room, and dinner. My friends all told me she was a bit strange, but she seemed nice. We went to the cinema and while waiting in line she turned to me and asked if I heard the man next to us whispering her name.

I was confused as hell. Then while we watched the movie, she told me she'd seen the movie, and then gave spoilers — all of which were wrong. He wanted to take me to his favorite restaurant, which turned out to be Hooters. After dinner, we went to a sports store where he bought a 3-foot bulldog statue.

On the way back, he told me he needed to make a stop at the cemetery, so he could put his new statue on his dad's grave. Still convinced he could be my soulmate, I patted his back while he cried, asking how his father passed away. He replied, 'We went huntin'. And I couldn't see over the bushes, and shot my gun and missed the deer.

He didn't call ME back. He ordered a shot with our appetizers — okay. Several drinks later, he started talking about his ex-wife and what a 'bitch' she was.

As the evening went on with the subject of conversation never changing, he got more drunk until finally he confessed to me that he tried to hire someone to kill his ex-wife. They had it all planned out, but he ended up not having enough money to pay for it. Buzz · Posted on May 7, by Anna Kopsky BuzzFeed Staff. MTV Films. Focus Features. Apatow Productions.

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Worthy Asks: What’s Your Funniest or Weirdest Dating Story?,Art & Creative

 · 4. 24 Struggles Of Online Dating That Are All Too Real. This post lists 24 online dating struggles that are all too real. "Anyone can take one great profile picture — especially if Best worst dating story. sedore Props to this guy’s creativity! _kategroh Hilarious dating revelations revealed. This guy deserves a hug. T_LetWIN. Must have been one hell of a crazy 10 Of The Creepiest Stories About Online Dating. Shawn Binder. May 19, Share Tweet Flip. 0. Shares. 1; 2; Page 1 of 2. But, just how creepy and weird can online dating get? I  · The guy who *really* likes spreadsheets. "I went on a four-hour (FOUR-HOUR) Tinder date with a match who proceeded to walk me through the intricacies of Excel. Every ... read more

We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Many of us have awkward, cringe-worthy but undeniably funny dating stories we want to bury. Ottoman Turks Created Beautiful Calligraphy Displayed On Dried Leaves. No actual movement required. I dated a dancer one time. He told me 15 minutes in that he'd broken up with his ex because she asked to sleep without his cats in bed.

When I was finished, I asked if she just wanted me to leave, weirdest online dating stories. I went on a 4 hour date with a woman who rides horses for a living. Dude is way too drunk to drive, I end up driving him to his apt, Uber back to my car, realize my date took all the food with her. by Salimah McCullough BuzzFeed Staff. Share This Article. So keep your promises.

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